What happen if Mircosoft Want to build Car?

September 23rd, 2005 at 10:58pm tiger Category : Car Joke

A fowarded mail i received recently… You might read this before

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At COMDEX recently, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.”

In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single “This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation” warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask “Are you sure?” before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again, because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. Oh yeah, and last but not least . . . you’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off!

Add comment Permalink Email This Article

Air Bag is important to man! Choose the Right Car!

August 17th, 2005 at 09:08pm tiger Category : Car Joke

This is a fowarded mail received few day ago…

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles
perhour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks
across at her and speaks in a clear voice.

“Darling,” he says. “I know we’ve been married for twenty years, but I
want a divorce.” The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead
but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph. The husband speaks again.

“I don’t want you to try and talk me out of it”, he says, “because I’ve
been having an affair with your best friend, and she’s a far better
lover than you are.” Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering
wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55 mph.

He pushes his luck. “I want the house,” he says insistently. Up to 60
mph.”I want the car, too,” he continues. 65 mph. “And,” he says, “I’ll
have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat.”
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.
This makes him a wee bit nervous, so he asks her: “Isn’t there anything
you want?”

The wife at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice. “No, I’ve
got everything I need.” she says.
Oh, really?” he inquires, “So what have you got?”

Just before they slam into the wall at 75 mph, the wife turns to him
and smiles.
….”The airbag.”….

Never underestimate how a woman thinks.
Moral of the story:

Buy Toyota VIOS as it has only one airbag (for driver only). The
husband sure die and wife gets everything!

So, for a husband don’t buy a Vios today….
Husbands, pls take insurance! but.. think twice for MCIS insurance.

Know why?

” M.C.I.S “= Mati Cepat Isteri Senang

Add comment Permalink Email This Article